Lord, it’s hard to be humble when you are perfect. While the song is fun, most of us don’t really feel that way. Many of us are driven by a desire to be perfect. If we are less than perfect, it creates all kinds of insecurity and a sense of failure.
Three types of perfectionists
Psychologists tell us that there are three types of perfectionists:
- A self-oriented perfectionist holds unrealistically high expectations of themselves and battles with feelings of guilt. These perfectionists often obsess to the point of inefficiency and are prone to procrastinate and struggle with deep feelings of inadequacy.
- An externally oriented perfectionist believes others expect them to be perfect. To cope with the pressure, they often use self-deprecating humor as a defense. They often feel alone, depressed and desperate because they know they will never be enough.
- An others-oriented perfectionist expects others to live up to their impossible standards because they tend to lack empathy. They often tear others down or use abrasive and demeaning humor toward those who don’t meet their standards.
Can you see yourself anywhere on that list? I have never considered myself a perfectionist. Yet, I can see myself in these roles often.
Spiritual side of perfection
Though perfectionism sounds like a psychological problem, it is, in fact, a spiritual problem. Perfectionism masks insecurity. It’s ironic that pride and insecurity are always holding hands. Likewise, confidence and humility also hold hands.
It started right at the beginning. The moment Adam and Eve sinned they covered themselves. They knew that they were not perfect, so they attempted to create the appearance of perfection. Thankfully, since perfectionism is a spiritual problem, God has the solution.
Romans 3:20
You will never be perfect enough for God. The Jewish people who were the audience for Paul’s writing in Romans had 613 laws to obey. They would strive for perfection, but it was never enough. Isaiah 64:6 Romans 3:20
So why did God give the law in the first place? If we can never be perfect, why does God hold up a perfect standard? It’s pretty simple. Until you see yourself as a sinner, you will never see your need for a savior!
How are we made right?
Romans 3:22
When I’m living in perfectionism it’s all about me. It’s about what I do. In perfectionism, I wonder if God will love me. I constantly pursue the approval of God and others. But I will never measure up. I will never be good enough. It’s all about grace. It’s all about Jesus. When he took my sins upon Himself on the cross, he made the way for me to walk in grace. So, I don’t have to live striving for God’s approval. He loves me right now. I walk in grace.
What I need is not Christ plus church. It’s not Christ plus helping an old lady, giving lots of money, or any other work I could possibly do. Being perfect in God’s eyes is Christ plus nothing.
The pressure is off
Jesus chose people over perfection.
Luke 10:41-42
Our goal should be to imitate Jesus and choose perfect love over perfect performance. Instead of allowing perfectionism to cover our deepest fears of inadequacy rejection and intimacy, we only need to look to Christ. When he smiles at me the rest of the world can just take a flying leap! Matthew 5: 43-48
Our perfect purpose is to love God and love people. I long and strive to live a sinless life because in doing so I’m better able to love God and love people. But I’m not haunted by the fear of being inadequate or being a failure and never measuring up. I will never measure up. It’s always going to be grace.
How to be good, really good
In our human minds, we try to show people that we are good by what we do. The problem is what we do isn’t good. The good news is our God is good and his perfect love overshadows my attempts at perfect performance. So how can we love like God loves and walk in his grace? By choosing people over perfection.
